Ollie’s Bathroom Secret: Urgent Needs for One and Two?

This is a story about love. I mean, one has to love someone to spend time with them in the bathroom – don’t you agree? Think about it. The things one does in the privacy – or not – of the room where a shower, sink, and toilet are should remain private. As such, I won’t be divulging any details here. (BTW: It took me the longest time to understand what a toilet is. Think about it. I mean, I never use one. Just sayin’.)

Oh, are those sighs of thanks I’m hearing? What happens in the bathroom stays in the bathroom. Think of it as Las Vegas. (Someone, please tell me what Las Vegas is. James is the one who told me to say that, and I have no idea what that means. Oh, okay. He kind of told me, but it seems like a strange place. I’ll leave it where it lies, so to speak – pun intended. Score! A treat. Of course, I’m not sure why….)

(A groomed Ollie out for a stroll to do his bathroom business.)

Like I said, this is all about love. Being James’ shadow takes an enormous amount of work. Trying to keep up with him after I’ve been snoozing on the carpet can present its own set of problems. Think about how it feels to wake up suddenly and you are on the move without any type of aid – like caffeine: coffee, tea, or soda (your choice). Yeah, that’s what it’s like.

Still, love is why I do it. James means more to me than anything else. (Score! Another treat.) Okay, now that I’ve been rewarded, here is the truth. There are some things that mean, well, maybe not more to me, but they mean nearly the same. (No, I will not throw up the treat – stop – I won’t.)

(One of Ollie’s favorite places.)

Okay, did James really need to show you his bathroom? I mean, sure, he and I and Ron spend time in there, and it is clean, but honestly, was that necessary? So, you might ask, who am I to gripe like this. You know what? You’re right. After all, I’m the one who goes in there and snuggles up to be rubbed. I don’t like the shower or tub, and I don’t do anything in the sink or toilet, so who am I to complain? After all, I’m only in there because I want to be with James. Why do I want to be with him like that? Because I love him. (Score! Score! Score! Trifecta. And I wasn’t even trying, simply stating the truth.)

Which leads me to ask: are James’ poems a trifecta? I love them like I love him, so I think so. After all, they’re about me. So, of course I’d think they’re special. I hope you like them as much as I do.

Oh, and here’s one about bathrooms. It’s okay if you skim it first to make sure there is nothing stinky within it. Good luck….


you follow me everywhere I go
as if I needed another shadow
my still growing eight-month
Old English Sheepdog Ollie

I’ve informed you it’s truly a pleasure
to always have you beside me
whether walking sitting or lying down

but there comes a time
when I’d rather you weren’t
yet upon closing the door
you whine such to break my heart

your complaining doesn’t stop
as my heart races out to comfort and
demands I remove the partition

now I’m never able to go alone
for even when I bathe
you lie beside the shower door

I ask myself why you
always want to be with me
during such private moments

when a bluebird tweets
outside the open window
          perhaps it’s because you’re always
          with Ollie when he goes

yet the answer I hear
you silently reply is simple
          I have so much love to give you

as the sound of flushing fills the air
I follow your lead out of the bathroom
admitting it’s a little of one and a lot of the other

I’ve never understood what James means by a little of one and a lot of the other. Is he talking about his pee and p…. [A gag order has been put in place. Please excuse Ollie’s language as it is totally unnecessary. Thank you.]

So now that I’ve been allowed out of “quiet time,” let me tell you that the “lot” has to do with the amount of love James has for me – at least that is what he told me. I’m still not sure it doesn’t also mean something else, but that is for others to decide.

As I said earlier, love is everything. Without it, there’s nothing. My advice is to embrace those who follow you into the bathroom because they are willing to suffer – the flings and arrows of outrageous misfortune. (Those are James’ strange words, not mine, just sayin’.) As to my opinion, I’d follow James anywhere, regardless of arrows and flings, whatever they are.

Come to think of it, I experienced a flashback the other day while we were outside. It wasn’t a drug induced flash, but a memory flash. I never told you about the leaves that fell this past autumn, and, speaking of love, how much I love to chase them. Well, stick around and in two weeks I’ll fill you in.

I hope you’re enjoying reading about my first year and the different poems James wrote. If so, let us know in the comment section below. I always like to hear from you, so please feel free to leave me a note about this or anything else that’s on your mind.

Until next time,
Short Stories - Author Webpage Help Needed
Sir Oliver of Skygate Farm (you can call me Ollie)


Paw Prints courtesy of www.pawsitivelyloved.com
All photos © James Stack 2018 unless otherwise indicated

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